By Your Love They Will Know You Are His Disciple: Toward A Biblical Approach To Conflict Resolution

In a world of ever-increasing inter-faith, political, and cultural interaction the importance of an effective conflict resolution strategy will not diminish in the life of the local church. Rather, the ability to bring conflict, whether intrapersonal, interpersonal, or intergroup, to a peaceful, even beneficial, resolution is a highly valuable skill in the ministry of the gospel. Though most secular-minded, cultural leaders would desire otherwise, religion and spirituality have lost no ground in the minds of modern people. In 2009 the Barna Group concluded that “increasingly, Americans are more interested in faith and spirituality than in Christianity,” and this influence on spirituality is highly individualized. This increase in spiritual interest over Christianity is also exemplified in the increase of the Muslim population worldwide. Christian Century reported “The Vatican’s new 2008 yearbook of statistics, edited by Vittorio Formenti, puts Muslims at 19.2 percent of the world’s population and Catholics at 17.4 percent for 2006, the last year with available data.” This has both, good and bad, implications for Christianity. With an increase in spiritual interest, Christians have more potential opportunities for evangelism and discipleship. Yet, this is an uphill battle in which Christians must learn to contextualize the gospel message without compromising crucial doctrine for the sake of relevancy. Certainly a compromised gospel can only build a church based on loosely agreed-upon principles of positivism and selfish ambition.
In addition to faithful contextualization, the concept of identity enters the conversation. What role does humanity play in the whole redemptive story? Further, how does the identity of believers develop from answering this question, and what affect does this identity have on conflict resolution amongst believers and between believers and outsiders? This will be explored further in the upcoming section, “The Impact of Identity.” In light of this emphasis upon a culturally relevant, orthodox presentation of the gospel and the influence of identity on one’s approach to conflict resolution, this essay will seek to build a biblical model of conflict resolution that fulfills Jesus’ words in John 13:35, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Such a model could be used to edify and disciple fellow believers and evangelize those outside the kingdom of God. First positive and negative aspects of conflict will be explored. Then the influence of one’s perceived identity in the process of resolving conflicts will be highlighted. Finally, a biblical model of conflict resolution will be constructed.
POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF CONFLICT
In any organization in which those involved take interest in the organization’s purpose, conflict is inevitable. Dr. Leslie S. Ennis reinforces this point by stating, “The presence of conflict is an inevitable aspect of human existence and interaction.” Additionally, quoting William Willimon of Duke University, Kenneth Gangel defines conflict as, “whenever two or more people pursue mutually exclusive goals, or whenever one person’s needs collide with another’s.” By definition conflict involves parties that have much interest in the opposing viewpoints. Again quoting Willimon, “If there were no effort among humans to fulfill ideas, goals, or desires, there would be no conflict.” Thus conflict is loaded with potential for positive outcomes. Contrariwise, conflict contains the potential to vitiate relationships to the point of crisis. The tipping point is the level of effectiveness in using conflict resolution strategies which are built-in to good leadership prior to conflict arising. In his highly ecumenical article on faith-based solutions to conflict, Marc Gopin rightly points out that “theories of peacemaking and conflict resolution need to analyze the nature of the leaders in society who have the courage to advocate peace with an enemy, even when they are subject to ridicule.” Gopin is speaking in consideration of conflict involving different religions, including but not limited to Christianity, and the impious.
Negative Aspects of Conflict
First the negative aspects of conflict should be expounded upon as these are quite possibly the more obvious, or assumed, results of conflict. Few people see the positive potential of conflict from the outset apart from those trained in conflict resolution. Why do most view conflict with dreadful anticipation or outright avoidance at all cost? Considering that few people seek formal training in conflict resolution, the likelihood of navigating such volatile circumstances effectively, much less with positive outcome, is quite low. The sinful, selfish nature of man also aggravates the circumstances. In addressing the failure to achieve resolution, C.K. Robertson cites a model of unmanaged conflict by Carpenter and Kennedy. This model begins with a problem arising between two parties and escalating through eight levels of intensity. Generally speaking, these levels include the splitting of sides, communication breakdown, resource commitment, distorted perception, and finally crisis. Such breakdown in relationships is never a desirable thing.
In his essay, Robertson seeks to build a conflict resolution model based in Paul’s exhortation to the Corinthians that are taking one another to court in I Corinthians 6:1-11. He states, “What is indeed clear is that fellow church members were looking outside the church for resolution of internal disputes and for legitimation of their respective rights.” Robertson posits that Paul provides a key principle for Christian conflict resolution when he corrects the Corinthians, namely that the redeemed have no business airing their dirty laundry before the unredeemed. Paul reasons that, “[1]when one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? [2] Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases?” Even today what business does the Church have airing trivial grievances before the unbelieving world? Such conflict as the topic of Robertson’s essay can only have a detrimental effect on how unbelievers see Christ through the Church. “As in medicine, when the cure can sometimes be deadlier than the disease, so too could a legal ‘solution’ between fellow church members be far worse than the original complaint.” Therefore, avoidance and improper resolution contain the potential for far worse results.

Positive Aspects of Conflict
It has been stated that conflict is inevitable where humans are involved and interested in a particular cause. If conflict were only negative this would seem to provide a rather miserable feature to the human experience. However, conflict could be one type of trial James had in mind when he stated, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds.” Gangel argues that conflict is neither inherently negative nor positive, but rather neutral. The type of result is determined by leadership.
Under proper leadership what are some of the positive outcomes of conflict? First and foremost, conflict contains potential for growth. Ennis points out that properly understanding conflict provides “a means to further individual Christian growth within the environment of secular culture.” This is also the idea of Christian accountability and the use of Proverbs 27:17’s metaphor of “iron sharpening iron.” This Proverb describes the honing of one’s skills in order to face future challenges. Christians that practice true accountability give another the right to confront and challenge them if it seems they are in error in some way. This invited conflict is purposed to reduce sinful behavior and assist in developing one into a mature believer.
Another positive aspect that can result from conflict is reconciliation. By definition conflict involves two parties in opposition. This opposition can exist at varying levels of intensity, depending upon how the conflict has been previous treated. With proper treatment the opposing parties can find resolution to the conflict and potential reconciliation with one another. Related to reconciliation is the potential for the restoration of a sinful party into fellowship. Conflict does not necessitate that one party be in sin, but this frequently is the case. In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus’ provides a model of conflict resolution for cases in which one party has wronged another. The goal is stated from the outset in verse 15, “If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”
One final positive aspect of conflict, though certainly more could be listed, is the life infused into a group by conflict appropriately addressed. It is not inevitable that circumstances disintegrate into the more serious levels of crisis. Under good leadership, conflict resolution can move a group from shallow, superficial relationships into deeper community. This is exemplified in Vintage21 Church’s approach to Community Group ministry. All who seek membership are required to join a community group, because Vintage21 believes that so much of God’s ministry to believers is worked in the context of deep relationships with other believers. This type of community simply cannot exist on Sundays and Wednesdays only. Even further, it does not develop within the superficial exchanges that take place when moving from Sunday School to corporate worship. Thom and Cindy Asta, community group leaders at Vintage21, touch the nature of properly handled conflict within deep community, “Our lives are not pretty and tied up with a bow, but we are working to lean on Him…in our everyday lives. We have been shown that no matter who you are or where you go, people are broken…God is not…and His love is truly ‘higher than the heavens.’” Certainly God uses conflict today to build and develop His kingdom.

THE IMPACT OF IDENTITY
As of 2008 Christianity boasted nearly two billion adherents. However, Christendom contains many facets, many of which would deny membership to others professed adherent groups due to doctrinal differences and accusations of heresy. The cause of these doctrinal differences and heresies is most often traced to variances in methods of interpretation, or the lack thereof. For example, the approach of exegesis over eisegesis has profound implications for biblical interpretation. “Exegesis is the application of the principles of hermeneutics to arrive at a correct understanding of the text. The prefix ex (‘out of,’ or ‘from’) refers to the idea that the interpreter is attempting to derive his understanding from the text, rather than reading his meaning into the text (eisegesis).” This must be considered when addressing the important questions of the Christian message. For example, did Jesus die to primarily satisfy the Father’s just wrath bringing redemption to a damned creation or to provide an example of self-sacrifice for mankind? Ones interpretive approach would place emphasis primarily on God or humanity. Also, what implications do statements to “be still and know” that God is God, and the beginning of knowledge being the “fear of the Lord” have on Christian identity? The point here is not to construct nor deconstruct a view of humanity by God, or vice versa, but rather to shed light upon the fact that how one views the relationship of God to humanity determines one’s priorities in conflict resolution. If the individual’s right takes priority over the proclamation of the gospel to a lost and dying world, then Christians are perfectly justified in seeking litigation against their spiritual brothers and sisters in the courts of the land. Adversely, if the individual takes a backseat to a larger whole, namely the kingdom and community of God, then the resolution of conflict and reconciliation of opposing parties can provide a powerful witness to the lost. Watchman Nee correctly accentuated God’s purpose over man’s perception of himself in The Normal Christian Life, “We need forgiveness for the sins we have committed, lest we come under judgment; and they are forgiven, not because God overlooks what we have done but because he sees the Blood. The Blood is therefore not primarily for us but for God.” Later Nee states, “The Blood has satisfied God; it must satisfy us also. It has therefore a second value that is manward, in the cleansing of our conscience.” Nee is pointing out that the gospel message includes the redemption of mankind, but not at the expense of God’s glory. It is primarily about God’s satisfaction and glory, not mankind’s high status in the metanarrative. This position proposed by Nee parallels Scripture. For example, in Isaiah God states, “for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, ‘My counsel shall stand, and I will accomplish all my purpose.’” In the New Testament, Jesus, Himself, came to fulfill the will of the Father. “For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me.” The high view of man, as suggested by proponents of the prosperity gospel and liberation theologies, might therefore be declared the work of eisegesis rather than exegesis, and therefore unbiblical.
Thus the perception of oneself, as determined by one’s interpretation of Scripture, in the process of conflict resolution will have a profound impact on the results. Additionally, one’s environment and the use of language during developmental stages of life have great impact as well. In studying the conflict between Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland in the latter half of the twentieth century, David McMillan states, “A person (or investigator) is shaped and formed by the history or tradition which they inhabit and whatever else they seek to understand is itself located within a history or tradition. Furthermore, he establishes that the role of language is critical in the process of shaping and understanding the world and not merely as a tool for the communication of ideas or findings.” If a person learns to place oneself as the fundamental priority in the process of conflict resolution the needs of the other are overlooked.
BUILDING A BIBLICAL MODEL
A retired power company employee that was working part-time in a retail office supply store once commented, “Working with the public wouldn’t be so bad, if it wasn’t for the people.” This observation highlights the “built-in” nature of conflict. Yet what is it within man that guarantees conflict if more than one person is involved any relationship? This might be answered by observing the first human to human relationships in the book of Genesis. First, after the Fall God pronounces the curse upon Eve, which includes the statement, “your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” This pronouncement is the first instance of conflict within the most important relationship outside of man’s reconciliation with God, that is the marriage relationship. Furthermore, it is descriptive of the struggle between genders today. Tremper Longman observes, “that the woman is cursed in relationships and the man in work certainly doesn’t mean that women shouldn’t work or men don’t care about relationships, but it may indicate where the genders have tended to place their respective deepest significance. However, men also feel frustration in relationships and women too struggle in work.” This idea is further developed through observing God’s warning to Cain that sin’s “desire is for you, but you must rule over it.” Cain did not rule over sin and subsequently committed the first murder. Therefore, it is reasonable to conclude that conflict has characterized human relationships ever since the Fall. At this point it would be most helpful to examine a few Old and New Testament verses that address the topic of conflict resolution.
Old Testament
That the Old Testament is filled with stories of conflict is common knowledge even to those with the most basic knowledge of biblical stories. Moreover, nearly any position trying to develop a model of conflict resolution ranging from violence and destruction to complete pacifism can find passages to justify their cause; albeit sometimes taken quite out of context. This essay will observe two key passages from the Old Testament before further development from the New.
The first Old Testament passage that will be viewed is Deuteronomy 1:12-18. The principle for conflict resolution that can be drawn from this passage is that the mediation of disputes should be taken care of at the lowest possible point on the leadership scale. This portion of Deuteronomy parallels Exodus 18, and states,
[12] How can I bear by myself the weight and burden of you and your strife? [13] Choose for your tribes wise, understanding, and experienced men, and I will appoint them as your heads.’ [14] And you answered me, ‘The thing that you have spoken is good for us to do.’ [15] So I took the heads of your tribes, wise and experienced men, and set them as heads over you, commanders of thousands, commanders of hundreds, commanders of fifties, commanders of tens, and officers, throughout your tribes. [16] And I charged your judges at that time, ‘Hear the cases between your brothers, and judge righteously between a man and his brother or the alien who is with him. [17] You shall not be partial in judgment. You shall hear the small and the great alike. You shall not be intimidated by anyone, for the judgment is God’s. And the case that is too hard for you, you shall bring to me, and I will hear it.’ [18] And I commanded you at that time all the things that you should do.
Moses was at a breaking point in terms of his leadership burden. “How can I bear by myself the weight and burden of you and your strife?” The nation of Israel had grown to a point of fulfilling God’s covenant with Abraham. Moses could no longer be the sole judge. Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, advised him to develop a hierarchical structure of leadership to assist in the judging of disputants. Moses took this advice as stated in verse 16, “And I charged your judges at that time, ‘Hear the cases between your brothers, and judge righteously between a man and his brother or the alien who is with him.’”
Leviticus 19:15-18, the second Old Testament passage, establishes three virtues that was to characterize both the Jewish legal system and relationships with others; justice, righteousness, and love. It reads,
[15] “You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor. [16] You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD.
[17] “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. [18] You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.
These verses provided the Hebrews guidelines within their social structures that would ensure healthy interaction between members of the community. Lacking these three virtues in social and legal interaction would open the door for escalated conflict and sin before God.

New Testament
There is no contradiction between Old and New Testament principles of conflict. When some might argue for judgment and war in the Old, Paul reinforces the God given authority of governments in the New. Likewise, peace and justice taught in both testaments. Gopin echoes both statements by saying, “religion has a dual legacy in human history regarding peace and violence.” Though his statement includes all major faiths throughout the last few thousand years, it certainly includes Old Testament Judaism and Christianity.
The first New Testament passage to be examined is Matthew 5:9. This verse contains one of the Beatitudes from Jesus’ famous Sermon on the Mount. It states, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” In his highly important study of this sermon, John Stott says, “one of the most frequent causes of conflict is intrigue, while openness and sincerity are essential to all true reconciliation. Every, Christian, according to this beatitude, is meant to be a peacemaker in both the community and the church.” Stott’s teaching on this beatitude is perfectly in line with the Old Testament passage in Leviticus 19. Whenever a believer find himself in conflict, the primary result to be desired is a peaceful resolution. Stott even echoes the point of this essay in the study of this beatitude by stating, “The visible unity of the church is a proper Christian quest, but only if unity is not sought at the expense of doctrine.”
The next New Testament passage is also from Matthew, and is probably the most quoted concerning conflict. In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus says,
[15] “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. [16] But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. [17] If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. [18] Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. [19] Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. [20] For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
This passage outlines a biblical methodology to confrontation when one has been wronged. The goal, being restoration, is stated from the beginning. Confrontation for the sake of conflict or retribution is not biblical. Such confrontation does not have the best interest of both parties in mind because it is self-centered. Instead Jesus provides a method of confrontation that increases in intensity only if necessary. If it becomes necessary to remove a person from fellowship then Jesus’ blessing accompanies those that have followed the biblical protocol.
One quick note should be mentioned about the common misquoting of verse twenty. Many Bible studies and prayer meetings have incorrectly used this verse to pronounce God’s blessing on a meeting. However, in context, this verse is dealing with the confrontation of a sinful and unrepentant person, not a Bible or prayer meeting. Otherwise believers should be prone to think that Jesus’ presence and blessing have less impact if they are alone. This is indeed a ludicrous thought.
The final New Testament passage to be examined in this essay comes from the teachings of Paul. C.K. Robertson’s treatment of I Corinthians 6:1-11 has already been noted, but a brief recapitulation is certainly in order. This passage documents Paul’s exhortation of the Corinthian believers to stop taking their conflicts into the secular courts. In doing so these believers were smearing the cause of Christ. Robertson states, “By focusing on the ‘how’ of their interaction rather than on the ‘what’ of the suit(s), the apostle is able to look beyond the symptom to the underlying systematic issue of identity confusion.” Robertson goes on to emphasize that Paul focused less on the cause of the dispute and more on the common familial bond as brothers and sisters in Christ. As part of this family of God, the Corinthians were to live for a larger whole and settle their disputes in light of this bigger picture.
CONCLUSION
Conflict and the resolution of conflict should be present in modern churches. It should be cause for concern if conflict is not present in that either people are absent altogether or people are not living authentically. In reality such false living is impossible to maintain, and conflict is inevitable. This has been an underlying premise of the data researched and this essay itself. In light of this and other principles concerning the nature of conflict, a basic model of resolution has been mined from certain key passages of the Old and New Testaments. Key principles of this biblical approach include: the fallen nature of humanity; the importance of proper leadership and structure in conflict resolution; the emphasis of godly principles when dealing with conflict; the ultimate goal and a basic methodology of dealing with conflict biblically; and finally, why Christians should deal with conflict differently from nonbelievers. With proper training in conflict resolution that is grounded in biblical principles, churches can be shine as a beacon of hope in what many perceive as the most dire of circumstances. Truly the words of Christ in John 13:35 will ring true, “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

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